just some shit that always in my mind and with my views changing constantly:
!.) What it if there was anarchy. I think I'd like it better than this "democracy". I'd definitely be packin' heat. kick it back to those real animal instincts. maybe we were never supposed to be this advanced, and that's why life sucks. for some reason it seems more right to me than the current life. not saying I'd last in a world like that but at least nature would pave the course and not technology?
2) sometimes I feel like humanity went so far off it's track for so long that.... well, life now is totally pointless. that basically sums it up. people got too stressed out and started doing things to entertain themselves... thats alright... right? no? Life now is totally based on entertainment... aleast to the people im surrounded by. James Redfield mentions this in 'The Celestine Prophecy' he says it was because people couldn't find the meaning of life. So now, we have a fucked up government, fucked up media, and naturally rabid animal-like stressed out people. kind of a reversal. atleast for some people. The people looking to be free and find something in life can't due to restriction caused by stupid people. A majority of the people are too stressed out to get out. too stressed out to find a cure. too stressed out to even think of anything positive. stressed to the point where they can't even.. be. so what's the point of living when you don't even have the energy to live. the body know's what the deal is when your stressed. you do start to deteriorate and die, physically and mentally.
It makes me sad when I see my mom watching the stuff she does on TV. maybe cus it's shitty tv, idk. I don't understand how you can be pro TV and not pro drugs (pot, mushroom, nothing dumb). what's the diff yo? How can you eat mcdonalds and other fucked up food and then fight against drugs? ya know? atleast drugs have some positivity. I guess im being like the people im bitching about right now. which brings me to the other thoughts!
3) chill out and find your pation, start a career, realize that you probably can't change the things you hate in the world. "you can't change a mans soul with-out destroying your own" - Brother Ali (quote's something along those lines.) Find peace and love looking into the faces of everybody you meet. but that brings you back to... what the fucks the point (hmm could i be saying that just because im in the stressed out state?) wouldn't humanity still be headed nowhere?

I guess all paths are equally "right" . since there really is no reason to this.

all these stupid fucking thoughts... how can't you not blame the government? lol

I wish I could write better. the things in my head seem so clear at times i just can't express them 1; cus it's partially impossible to describe a feeling 2; cus im a dumbass.

half my life's decisions, including small stuff like typing blogs, are kinda like those drunken moments when your just like why am i even talking, why did i do that? not always drunkin ; ) oh wait... this feeling is because im stressed 200% all the time. yeah that's right, that's a period at the end not a question mark.

sound like good reasoning?

thought, prayer(aka), really does seem to change you/things. scientifically. so why does the government allow the media to play out negative things? life just doesn't seem to work. you know. it's like we're just gonna put along while a majority won't enjoy life, untill we, humanity, even just us, are dead. so why not just allow people to be.

I feel like such a teenager when i get pissed about this stuff. but then i feel like when I do start to find pleasure i'll just be a waste not doing anything for life, not humanity, but life. i don't even know if i understand that.

I feel like soul is telling me i am being stressed and irrational. or atleast just stressed out. maybe it's telling me I'm stressed out but i do need to do something, and just writing my thought is not actually doing something.

PIZZA TIME!
brb (brb in a blog, how cool is that?... so i went to your room and read you diaryyyyy) (say what?)

I got some film developed. I'm fuckin sick of Ritz. fucking dipfucks. I go there enough for them to shut the fuck up and just do there thing but they still talk me with there stupid shpeils. and they never call when my films developed even though they keep stressing that they do with there fake aditudes. theres like one legit person there. I should just develope myself, and just scan the negatives. I wish i had a friend to do that with though, lol (not really, lol(not really, lol)(not really, lol)(not really, lol))) which brings me to; I hate scanning negatives. is there one that like, auto feeds them? I have a flatbed scanner with an attachment thing.

You guys won't be seeing the film ones tonight. Which arent all that great, cus i'm a poosay, and never have the balls to take that picture. I guess maybe i should be a telemarketer. They're mostly wedding photos. I did bring a roll in today though, don't remember what's on it cus... I sacrafice my memory for peace. or is it just because i'm too stressed out to think, remember, care and not because the sacraficing? cha know?

I'll stop with these emo/crazing stress postings someday, and i'll have a pretty dope blog from the soul. not from my brain.

I just started to trip myself out.

anyway here's the fucking newer random shit. only digital.

btw I watched 'the happening' (1969?), fucking weird as shit, I recommend it. watch it without knowing what it's about. and do some "sacrafices" before and during it. I was just like, 'damn? did people really act like that or are they just bad actors?'.

alright, uploaded, nothing special.
now there uploading to flickr.
nobody ever replied about how they eat there reeses.

so, the other day I went to portsmouth and Fort Foster.
took this in portsmouth.


I don't know.


if only i had that 30mm.

I read in the park as some people were being taught meditation. some milfs and dilfs. and gmilfs and gdilfs.

after my parking meter was up i went to the fort. I listened to a meditation mp3 and laid in the sun. I was feeling kinda energetic so i started drawing in the sand.





Courtney planned a little cook out. on a smallllllll porch.


freaks.

good pasta and potato salad though. and dogs. cranium was alright... but the dogs were better. oh i mean real dogs btw not hot dogs.


that's oliver, aka, olli, aka shitbag, aka rat.

he's awasome. at night I shined a flashlight behind him and he started crying, it was... cute, lol.
He sounds so funny when he barks.



there was some myspace stocking going on. The results were blinding... we seen some shit nobody should see...
suspense!

TODAY.

we went for a bike ride on the old trails in town from and old railroad. short bike, but still fun.



oh yeah, two machines of fury. my car and bike.



after the bike ride.


I think this is Joe giving advice?


I think this is Jeremy, Joes brother, heating up a 'chocolate stick' with his eyes.


ooh who's that sexy man... that's what i hear them say, ALL the time... in my dreams.

that's it for pictures today. I hope this blog isn't too fucked up, or lacking.

peace homies, keep it REAL, like mawfuckin media player.

oh yeah... watch this, lol

-HA